澳洲新移民指南:我们与老外的十大相处差异

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你和老外闹过笑话或者误会吗?文化差异会造成两方人对某些事情的态度和做法的不同。加强沟通,理解万岁。为了让你和老外轻松相处,我们总结出经常发生的10种误会及其解决方法。


Top 10 赞美

外国人人乐于赞美别人,同时也乐于接受别人的赞美。而中国人为了显示谦恭,常常会“拒绝”他人的赞美。这种“拒绝”会让老外觉得莫明其妙,好像你不领他的情似的。

还有,中国人出于礼貌,或者想跟人套近乎,总是愿意说些关心人的话。为了献殷勤,我们常喜欢对客人说"You must be tired? Have a good rest."。然而,普通的问候之语却有可能让外国人误解为你对她的身体状况表示担忧。他们很喜欢别人夸他们年轻、强壮,如果你质疑他们的身体健康,他们甚至会发怒的。

Top 9 致谢

中国人认为对家里人或者好朋友的帮助是one's own obligation, no need to thank or be thanked,彼此根本不必说谢谢,说了反而显得关系生分。而老外对家人或者朋友的帮忙都习惯说谢谢,他们期待polite expression like "please", "thank you", etc.。所以,和老外相处,千万不要吝啬“谢谢”两个字。“谢”少了只会让老外觉得你羞涩且不懂礼貌。

Top 8 出游

中国人结伴出游的时候,如果买什么东西,花钱的那个人一般都会先统计有几个人,然后按照人头购买东西,即便有人之前客气地说不要,中国人还是会给他买上一份。When a Chinese offers refreshments or drinks to his colleague, his colleague often declines the offer politely, because he doesn't want to trouble the person who offers and it also shows his politeness. Normally the person who offers still prepares or buys refreshments or drinks, and this will be expected by his colleague. Sharing food and drink when going out together is common among colleagues and friends。

然而和老外结伴出游,如果你客气地推说不需要某样东西,那么对方真的就不会给你买。他们觉得不给你买是尊重你的决定。Respect one's own decision, "yes" means one wants it, "no" means one doesn't, politeness is usually shown by the expression_r 'thank you' or "please"。所以,想要什么东西,就直接说出来吧,事后真诚地说声谢谢才是他们眼中的礼貌做法。

Top 7 称呼

当外国人听到中国人称呼他们为“老外”的时候,他们心里是不高兴的,因为他们觉得自己并不老,且很健康。他们dislike being labelled as "old", being young valued above being old。

而当他们听到中国人管外国小孩也叫“老外”的时候,他们才明白“老”其实是对某个人的尊称,比如老张,老王。"Lao" is a commonly used term by Chinese people to address someone who is older than the speaker to show his politeness, respect and closeness. The term does not necessarily mean old age. "Lao Wai" is a colloquial term of address for foreigners。


Top 6 送别

中国人表达情感的方式相对内敛。送别的时候,他们强忍泪水,吝于拥抱,种种“冷淡”表现让老外深感诧异。所以,如果你和老外送别,举止不妨洒脱奔放一些,可别让他们觉得你是“冷血动物”。

Like everyone else we are affectionate to our friends and relatives, but perhaps we show our affection in public less than other peoples. Maybe the whole family as well as some friends will go to the railway station or the airport to see a person off, no matter whether he/she goes abroad to study or to another province for work. This may well strike many Westerners as very moving, yet they might be puzzled when they see that nobody will hug or kiss when the time comes for saying goodbye. Friends may shake hands with the person who is leaving and parents may hold his/her hand for a long time with tears in their eyes, but with no other physical contact. In fact hugging and kissing are seldom seen in public in China, no matter what the occasion is。

Top 5 鼓掌

当众发言的时候,如果别人给自己鼓掌,为了表达谢意,中国人通常都会暂停发言,而后随着听众一起鼓掌。 In this way he expresses his thanks to the audience. 可是老外就不理解为何要自己给自己鼓掌。自己给自己鼓掌,多不谦虚啊。Of course, when a Chinese speaker claps his hands as the audience is applauding, he is not applauding himself, but expressing his thanks to his audience. As noted earlier, Westerners feel puzzled when watching such a scene, since they think the speaker or the performer is applauding himself. 所以,以后老外在场,发言的人不妨用鞠躬或者挥手代替鼓掌。当然,微笑站立也是一种选择。

Top 4 眼神

许多中国人在和别人说话,或者当众发言的时候,羞于和听众进行眼神的交流。Some of them, perhaps because of nervousness, like to bury their nose in their manuscript to read their speech all the time. 这种做法其实是不礼貌的。

与人交流的时候,老外expects eye contact, though this does not have to be constant. 而当众发言的时候,老外look at his audience now and then. 他们是不会把脑袋埋在稿子里面说话的。

Speaking in public is also a kind of two-way communication, which needs eye contact from both sides. The speaker will certainly feel embarrassed when he sees that his audience do not look at him. But if he doesn't look at his audience now and then, his audience also has the right not to listen to what he is saying. 如果你发言的时候没有勇气看听众,那么你也无权要求你的听众会和你形成良好的互动。

Top 3 送礼

中国人送礼喜欢成双,比如说两瓶酒,两条烟。一是为了显示自己不是小气人,二是为了讨个吉利数字。去朋友或者亲戚家做客,拎点水果是非常普遍的情况。

但是,在海外,人们送酒的时候都是只送一瓶。 One is quite enough, two are of course welcome but unusual and not expected. 因为他们吃饭的时候要喝客人带来的酒,如果客人拿了两瓶,似乎表明客人是个酒鬼,主人恐怕一瓶酒不够喝。

去朋友家做客一般也不送水果。水果一般是作为看望病人时候的礼物。

而且,中国人接到别人的礼物,为了显示自己不是个贪财之人,习惯于把礼物悄悄放在一旁,然后等客人离开后再拆开包装;而老外则希望你当着他的面打开礼物,并对他的礼物赞美一番。

In the West , it is regarded as polite to open gifts as soon as they are given to express appreciation. In China, the situation is quite the reverse. Normally we Chinese feel that if you open the gift as soon as it is given, you might embarrass the person who gives the gift and you might be thought greedy. So Chinese people tend to open the gifts after the visitors have left. What is more, many people send gifts without wrapping them, and if they wrap them, they usually tell the receiver what is inside, and the receiver will thank the sender and put the gift aside without unwrapping them since they already know what is inside. However, when we receive gifts from an English native speaker, in order to avoid misunderstanding, we may follow their custom by opening the gifts in front of him or her and express our appreciation。

Top 2 做客

中国人去别人家串门的时候都喜欢随处逛,到处看。可老外是怎么看待这些行为的呢?"I'm often taken aback by the way visitors come round to my flat and seem to feel free to take the place over, putting on the telly, pulling down books from my shelves, even peering at letters I've left lying around on the desk." 虽说让客人感到宾至如归是好的待客之道,但老外还是忌讳你在做客的时候在他家里东逛西逛,甚至偷窥他的隐私。同样的,涉及到薪资、年龄等隐私问题我们也不要张口就问。

Top 1 吃饭

“人是铁,饭是钢。一顿不吃饿得慌。”我们和老外的交往许多时候都发生在饭桌上。中国人请老外去家里吃饭,可能会准备8-10道菜。你最好让老外有个心理准备,要么他们很可能根本没有肚子去吃后面的菜了。他们可能会觉得中国人hospitable, if anything too hospitable。

如果你去老外家吃饭,也许桌上仅仅就准备了一道菜!而且他们也喜欢说"The dishes are quite good; these dishes are quite famous",绝对不像中国人喜欢说:“准备不周,凑合吃点吧。” 还有,中国人为了显示热情,喜欢给别人夹菜。但是老外却不喜欢要别人给自己夹菜。"I don't think I'll ever get used to the eating habits out here. You know, the way people put things on your plate..." 老外乐于让人自主选择喜欢的食物。They think to help yourself is the best way. Foreigners give guests the chance to choose what is their favourite。 和老外吃饭,中国人千万不要谦虚含蓄。"Chinese never seem hungry when they come round to my place. Whenever I ask callers if they'd like a bite to eat they always say no." 大多数老外都是实在人。当他们问你要不要吃点什么的时候,如果你谢绝了,他们会尊重你的决定,真的不给你东西吃哦。所以说,饿了就喊出来吧。

一句话,外国人的表达及处世方式更为直接,而中国人则更显圆滑。Foreigners never pretend to be modest. They just tell others what they think. If a Chinese person is faced with the same situation, maybe he or she would say, "I'm sorry. The restaurant is a little bit small and the dishes are just so so, but I hope you'll enjoy yourself."

转自滴答网





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