【解答】什么是真正的雅思作文修改???进来看,现场给你改!

2015年09月09日 今日悉尼




没有老师给我改作文???




外国老师给我改作文没有用?

雅思作文怎么办?

其实,

你的终极问题在于是谁在改作文?

怎么改作文?


简单的修改语法,单词是绝对没有用的!


如果老师知识帮你改语法或单词,那你还用得着花钱吗?请跟我们一起去上教会或免费英语补习吧。


真正的雅思英语作文改写一定要从逻辑开始:



Now many people think that we are spending too much money and time on protecting wild animals. The money should be better spent on human population. Do you agree or disagree?


The issue of whether we should attempt to preserve wild animal species is certainly a heated one. While people argue that we spend our limited money on human population, others firmly believe that the wildlife preservation is vital importance of society. In my opinion, keeping wild animals from destroying is necessary as negative impacts upon mankind’s life by ignoring such measure.


The issue of whether or not humankind should protect wild animals has become a heated debate. While some people argue that our limited resources should be spent on the human population, others believe that wildlife preservation is of vital importance and more worthy of our resources. In my opinion, protecting wild animals from eradication is a better use of money as the negative impacts of not doing so will damage mankind's lifestyle.


-remember that rewording the question always changes things. For example, you said 'preserve wild animal species'. Protect and preserve, luckily, are roughly the same. but be careful. Protect still works better. Look at the dictionary definitions to get a finer feeling of the two words.


- the structure, 'while some believe this, and others believe that', you have used strangely. It is SUPPOSED TO BE, some people believe money should be spent on X, others that money should be spent on Y. Yours is not particularly coherent. It's like saying "While his birthday was on June 5th, her boyfriend's name was Petersham". They need to be about the same thing!


- eradication = killing off till they're all dead.


- keeping wild animals from being destroyed is another failed attempt at rewording the question. be verrrry careful!


To begin with, it is fair to say that there are many other practical programs such as healthcare, education assistance and poverty funds. Considering the fact that taxes funds of the government is limited and precious, it is reasonable to allocate the money on human welfare, rather than animals.


To begin with, it is fair to say that there are many other programs such as healthcare, educational assistance and poverty funds that produce more immediately tangible benefits. Considering the fact that taxes are precious and fairly limited, it is reasonable to allocate money towards human welfare rather than humans.


- observe what I did to your first sentence. I explained WHY those 'practical programs' matter more.


- need to justify WHY humans are more valuable than animals.


- This is a fairly short paragraph. I expect more content. For example, after supporting the opposing view (or explaining it), you need to give a counterargument. And I mean as part of THIS paragraph, not the next one.


While a host of people go against the argument mentioned above, thinking that failure of wildlife preservation will have detrimental effects on human beings. It is stand practise for the mankind to forbid for rule of ecosystems, which have invisible arrangement requiring different plants and animals depend each others. The decrease in certain species even extinction will allow their preys to multiple unchecked. For example, the rabbits in Australia that been brought by European immigrates bleed over hundred years. Without main predator—red fox killed in order to protect livestock, the rabbits cannot be hint to produce, soaring an exponential number. Not only did they compete resource with local species, but such rabbits also jeopardize famers’ crops.


While many people are opposed to the argument mentioned above, they fail to understand that wildlife preservation also have many benefits for humans. Ecosystems are an essential part of our survival as we are at the top of the food-chain. Each part is dependant upon another and the loss of wild animals could have detrimental effects on our food supply. For example, in Australia, the [wild animal] was hunted to extinction and the rabbits that were their prey have since multiplied beyond control. They are destroying our crops and our [cows] no longer have enough food to eat which also means we have less [beef].


- a host of people should not be used in any IELTs scenario


- I'm not sure what you meant by using the 'while' structure here. It appears that you don't know how to use 'while'. As a tip, I suggest you avoid using it to avoid making further grammar mistakes.


- you meant 'standard practice'


- 'forbid for rule of ecosystems' makes no sense. You're rapidly losing coherence. You need to read some essays to do with ecosystems or else you will keep making stuff up.


- I gave you a new example. It's not the right animals but it gives you the right idea.


- immigrates bleed over hundred years. WHAT??! ME NO UNDERSTAND!


In conclusion, although the fact we could not deny that money may be fund in practical and effective ways, under no circumstance, should we give up wildlife preservation leading to damage of human beings


In conclusion, although money can be spent in more practical and immediately effective ways, under no circumstances should we abandon wildlife preservation as it ultimately affects our lifestyles just as much.


1.红色是单词/语法的修改。

2.绿色是逻辑/问题回答的修改。


修改完后你的作文上1分-2分时绝对没有问题的。


如果你能认真的看完别人的范文,那你一定可以看完一遍自己改成7分的范文吧!学习它吧!


如果你要7分,绝不需要再浪费时间和金钱在没有用的课上了!


如果老师没有这么为你改作文,而只是上课或只是花3分钟帮你改作文还有用吗?




毕竟我们不是在国内,混是考不出7分的。


好好改一遍作文,才有可能考出7分雅思


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