名师点评名校文书丨乔治城大学文书这么写!

2017年08月12日 美中国际美国留学广州分部


名校丨名师丨文书丨点评










学校排名

U.S.News 综合第21


学校名称

Georgetown University 乔治城大学


学校简单介绍

乔治城大学创建于1789年,是美国最古老的大学之一。是美国首都华盛顿哥伦比亚特区声誉最高的综合性私立大学。它位于首都华盛顿市中心。乔治城大学被认为是美国最好的天主教耶稣会大学。美国总统比尔克林顿、菲律宾总统阿罗约及台湾政治人物宋楚瑜等是乔治城大学校友。较优秀的学科包括美国研究、历史、外交事务、政府和神学,国际关系研究被学界评为美国最佳之一。


文书范本

Dharamsala
I sat nervously in the plastic chair, my cotton chupa tied a bit too tightly. A few robed monks sat quietly by a water cooler. After a short wait, a guide led my group through the palace gardens into the Karmapa's office. The room was 1970s inspired: paneled oak walls, Venetian blinds, and a plaid couch atop an Oriental rug. Seemingly out of place, the Karmapa sat gloomily, dressed in a traditional vermillion robe.

My fixation with India began with a paperback copy of Arrow of the Blue-Skinned God. The book depicted India as a blend of modernism and tradition; a country illustrated in Vedic literature as utopian and mystic, yet today a fusion of Hinduism and urban development. My love of India stems from its multifaceted personalities, its ability to function as a center of religious fervor, a backdrop for historical events of great import, and a cosmopolitan nation of both metropolises and pastoral communities. I envisioned glass cities laced with smog, burlap bags of spices, crumbling shrines coughing undulating incense rather than the monochromic lifestyle of the Main Line. Readily submitting to India's allure, I signed up for a service trip to explore the cultures of India by teaching English in a small village. Travel, especially for service, propels me to journey beyond suburbia and to explore the world, whether it is as a student ambassador in China or an English teacher in Tanzania. However, an itinerary mix-up landed me in the foothills of the Himalayas, far from the India I had read about.

The community was Dharamsala, a Buddhist enclave home to the exiled Tibetan government. With little knowledge regarding Buddhism, I was initially dismayed with the hushed village. I vowed to learn, though. I attended Buddhist lectures at the headquarters of the Tibetan government, received a Tibetan name, Tenzin Thegchog, from the Dalai Lama, and taught English to refugees. Then came the audience with the Karmapa Lama, Tibetan Buddhism's leader. The naturally reserved Tibetans would vivaciously discuss with me his future as Tibet's leader and enthuse about his looks; the Tibetans agreed that the Karmapa was attractive. However, sitting on the office floor, I felt little inspiration. Then the Karmapa allowed us to ask questions. Spontaneously, I asked, "Have you ever loved someone?"

The Karmapa answered immediately: "No, I never had the chance."

Where service is, for me, intrinsically personal, it isolates the Karmapa. Required to lead his people, the Karmapa is unable to establish the personal relationships that make service enjoyable and define "normal" life. Whether it is pouring tea at a soup kitchen, creating Valentine's Day cards with children at the Domestic Abuse Center, or planting oak tree saplings with the Willistown Conservation Trust, I find pleasure in serving others and also in the relationships formed while doing so. I realized the Karmapa's answer was truthful and inspiring. Through his blunt response, I was able to comprehend both my passion for community service, my independence, and understand what makes the Karmapa so attractive.


申请顾问编著点评

文章开头以生动的场景描述引出学生在印度支教时的所见所闻,之后又回溯到自己最初接触印度的起因——曾经读过的一本书。在夹叙夹议的叙述中,我们能通过文章的口吻了解学生对于印度的关注、对于这个地方公益事业的热心。更重要的是,文章中随处都有作者的思考:为什么我喜欢印度,为什么我能理解Karmapa说的话?这些都体现了作者的很多个性:冒险精神、联想力......通过读书对印度有了兴趣,就能付诸实践投入到当地的公益活动中去。更重要的是,在当地探索的过程中能融入其中,在不同的地方抓住不同的机会去探索印度不同的方面。


同时,申请人也是非常有思想的人,问Karmapa的问题反映了他关注人性、哲学,而通过Karmapa的答案,他能反思到自己身上,这是很强的反省、学习的能力。招生官读到这篇文章,会联想到学生进入校园后的积极态度,他会参与学校的公益服务、参与他感兴趣的社团和组织,他关注人性、反思自我的态度会让他在课堂内外都更加优秀。这样的学生,正是美国招生官喜欢,美国大学欢迎的学生。



想了解更多有关申请文书的细节,快快来联系小美吧~

扫描图中二维码,开启你的追梦之旅!

点击图文右下角,说出你的想法!


咨询热线:020-38010607

地址:广州市天河区林和西耀中广场B1218



收藏 已赞