原来pro也有这么有（dou）爱（bi）的一面啊~,旭飞加拿大留学微信公众号文章

旭飞周末：整理全球最近发布的新鲜事，是一份综合性的新闻汇总。旨在介绍这个浮华世界中正在发生的各种有或者没有意义的事件，供你在不想起床/不想上班的这个时间里转移一下注意力，看看别人正在干什么。

如果你以为多大里只有念经的小老头或者面无表情的美女教授，那么你就错了！每天他们都语出惊人，让你哭笑不得！

1. "I don't have office hours, the door is always locked. If it's open, please shut it.” "You can ask for help from your friends so I don't have to pay for so many TAs.”

我没office hour，要是门不小心开了的话…帮我关上不谢；有问题找朋友，给我省点TA的钱。

——Prof. Benhabib MIE231

2. "If you are failing this course, cheat on thefinal exam. I will find out and give you zero in the course. A zero is bettert han say 30%, because it looks like something happened in your life, not that you attempted the course but failed by 20%"

感觉过不了这门课的话，期末考作弊吧。我会给你零分，比30分好，起码你的人生中发生了点什么，而不是拼死拼活的还是挂了。

——Prof. Jung MAT235

3. "Parentheses are the condoms of mathematics -if you don't practice safe mathematics you will have problems"

括弧是数学的安全套—如果你没安全操作的话，是会出问题的。

——Prof. Tyler Holden MAT137

4. "There are no stupid questions...only stupid answers like the ones you put on your midterm."

没有愚蠢的问题，只有愚蠢的答案，就像你们期中答的那样。

——Prof. Shobhit Jain CSC180

5. "If you come out of the exam and say, 'Wow, that exam was hard!' I will follow you home and kill you and your whole family.”

如果你考完了说“好难呀”，那我会跟踪你然后杀了你全家。

——Prof. Furlong ECO100

6. "I had a professor that made us calculate somehard equations when I was in school. Fortunately- I mean unfortunately! He is no longer with us, may he rest in peace!"

我以前有个教授整天要学生算难题。幸亏他不在了，愿他安息......

——Prof. Lam MAT136

7. "So you can see that the average GPA at Brown is almost a 3.7. You would have to take at least 5 or 6 different drugs to even be able to IMAGINE that being the case at U of T."

你们看到布朗大学平均 GPA3.7了吧。想要在多大发生这种事，伙计，回去再喝点药吧。

——Dr. Murdock ECO220

8. "By now, you've gotten used to me. How are you going to live without me?"

你们已经习惯有我，没我怎么生活？

——Prof. Tepperman SOC103

9. During a clicker question: "This is the first year where no one chose B. Oh, wait there's one. Someone had to be that asshole."

课上大家用clicker做题教授说“第一次没人选B诶。等一下！总有个混蛋要选”

——Prof. Yip BIO130

10. "Biology experiments always smell bad. Chemistry experiments always explode. And physics experiments never work"

我们来总结一下，生物实验那酸爽，化学实验永远炸不停，物理实验从未成功......

——Prof. Harlow PHY132

11. (After student apologizes for not finding the classroom on time) "No no, don't worry. We don't make anything easy for you here at U of T, if you wanted everything to be easy, you would have gone toYork."

（学生找不到教室迟到了）“没事没事,你要知道一入多大深似海；如果想轻轻松松，呵呵，你现在应该在约克了。”

——Prof. Bartlett VIC240

12. "I honestly don't know what time I'll have office hours on Friday. It depends on when I wake up and I plan on getting drunk Thursday night."

实话告诉你们吧！我真不知道礼拜五啥时候在办公室。这取决于我什么时候醒还有礼拜四晚上是不是喝挂掉...

——Prof. Pitt STA247

13. We will make a deal: if you laugh at my jokes, I won’t laugh at your exam answers.

做笔交易吧，你们配合我的笑话，我就不嘲笑你们的考试结果哈哈哈哈哈哈

——Prof. Smyth HIS 103

14. "Now for my strong acid rule of thumb: if you put your thumb in it, pull it out, and there's no skin left, then it's a strong acid."

给你们讲个强酸的拇指鉴定法: 你把拇指放进去皮没了那这就是强酸。

——Prof. Winnik CHM325

15. "At the top of your quiz, please include your name and your prison number."

在quiz上写上你的名字和监狱号......

——Prof. Ronald Soong CHMC11

16. Prof: "What's the difference between me and a priest? No seriously what is it?" Student: "You have no soul."*Con Hall goes wild & Professor Kopstein walks away*

教授说：“我和神父的区别在哪里？到底是什么？”学生：“你没心”教授直接走了。。。

——Prof. Kopstein POL101Y1

17. "Welcome to Defence Against the Dark Arts"

欢迎加入我们黑魔法防御课

——Prof. Jurgensen POL114

18. "Who here is retaking this course?” *no one raises their hand* "Good, because I recycle my jokes every year."

在座的谁是重修这门课的？（没人举手）很好，我每年讲的玩笑都一样

——Dr. Kee PSL300

19. "That's your answer...but it's not mine."

这是你的答案。。。well不是我的

——Dr. Yang BIO374

20. "See, there's a difference between 'I like him' and 'I like him, like him.' 'I like him' is more like, 'Oh, I'd have lunch with him,' while 'I like him, like him' is like, 'I want him to see me in the shower."

“Ilike him”和“I like him, like him.”是有区别的。“I like him”就像我想跟他吃饭 “I like him,like him.” 就像我想他看我洗澡。

——Dr. Kee PSL300

21. "The chances of 2 people choosing the same 9 digit random number is 1-in-a-billion. The chances of 3 people choosing the same 9 digit random number is plagiarism."

两个人排出一样的九位数字概率是十亿分之一；三个人的话，概率是作弊...

——Prof. Gibson ECE568

22. "Well I have two kids, so I had fun twice."

我有俩孩子，所以嗨了两次。

——Dr. Kee PSL300

23. "You're water, I'm water, let's get together and get wet."

你是水，我也是水，让我们一起变湿吧！

——Prof. Donaldson CHMA11

24. "How many York students does it take tochange a light bulb? None. The York campus looks better in the dark anyway.”"How many Queens students does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. And they won't change it, they'll hold it up and wait for the world to start revolving around them."

“要多少York学生才能换个灯泡” “不需要，反正约克晚上更美好” “那要多少Queens大学的学生才能换个灯泡？” “一个。他们会守着那个灯泡等全世界绕着它转”。

——Prof. D. Smyth HIS103