一名跑步发烧友写了写自己跑步的心路历程,然后就被12所牛校录取了?这essay有点牛!

2017年04月10日 美国留学中心



Martin Altenburg是一名来自北达科塔的17岁高中生,今年申请季,小哥共收到了12封来自美国最一流名校的offer,8所藤校全部集齐,另外还有斯坦福、MIT、加州理工和芝加哥大学,简直流弊到不行。



从小哥收到的offer就可以猜到小哥肯定是个理工科大牛,所以关于小哥参加的各种全国竞赛、获过的奖以及突出的成绩我们就无需多说了,这肯定是刚需,今天我们重点想说说小哥的文书


要说MIT、加州理工和芝大那非人的学习强度和压力大家都有所耳闻,能被这些学校看上的肯定不是一般的学霸,必须得是巨抗压巨抗虐的那种。那招生官是如何看到小哥身上坚毅的性格和高度抗压的能力的呢,这恐怕就是小哥文书的功劳了。到底这篇文书有多牛逼,大家不妨来仔细阅读下吧!


My favorite time to run is at night. 


This particular run in early August brought a break to the humid, muggy weather I left on the East Coast. I used my body as a human psychrometer, knowing that the cold feeling of evaporating sweat signaled much needed dry air. 


I cross over the bridge into Minnesota. Out of my three sports, cross country is definitely my worst — but I continue to be hooked on it. Unlike swimming and track, my motivation to run is heavily intrinsic. I live for the long runs I take on by myself. While they rarely happen during our season, we were assigned a long run to complete over our first weekend of cross country. In reality, I was supposed to go six miles, but felt eight gave me more time to explore the home I had just returned to. My mind begins to wander as I once again find my rhythm. 


My train of thought while running is similar to the way one thinks in the minutes before sleep — except one has more control over how these thoughts progress and what tangents they move off of. While special relativity would be the "proper" thing to think about, especially at MITES, I revive the violin repertoire I had turned away from for so long and begin playing it in my head. I'm now at the edge of town in between the cornfields. The streaming floodlights on the open road give me a sense of lonely curiosity, reminiscent of the opening lines of Wieniawski's first violin concerto. I come up with adaptations of the melody in my head, experimenting with an atonality similar to Stravinsky's. 


I turn south onto a highway heading towards downtown. The dark night sky is broken by the oncoming light pollution. While I've longed for a road trip across the country, the neon lights from Sunset Lanes will have to do for Las Vegas. Turning west, I see a man and perk up as I try to look more menacing than I really am. But I relinquish. I realize that I did such an act simply because of the color of his skin. I kick myself for reverting to passive racism — something I spent much of the summer trying to overcome. 


The bridge over Main Avenue leads me back into North Dakota and downtown Fargo. My city is on the eve of its annual pride week — the largest in North Dakota. Beyond the rainbow flags lining downtown, I see the Catholic cathedral I attend every Sunday outside of the summer. The juxtaposition brings back memories of trying to come to terms with my own beliefs. The conservatism on my mom's side of the family often clashes with the more liberal views of my dad's family. Fargo is known for its "nice" attitude, but the discussion of controversial issues is often set aside in favor of maintaining peace. On the surface this can be good, but it makes change a long and cumbersome process, and has caused me to become very independent in finding my own belief system — something especially difficult when these beliefs may have to do with your future identity. 


The remaining part of my run is short and uneventful. The fact that the traffic lights have switched to blinking yellow and red means that I have been out later than usual. When I get home, I find that my run took somewhere around an hour — I honestly don't care about time during my distance runs. Longs runs are often seen as a runner battling the distance rather than time. But for me, long runs are a journey — both physically and mentally. Each time I run a route, I understand my surroundings and city more and more, and couldn't be more excited and sad to know that I'm leaving this place in a year's time. 


在文书中,Martin通过写在长跑中自己的感受和心路历程,生动地向招生官展现了自己有目标、有行动力、坚持不懈的优秀品质。文章简单朴实,却非常有说服力,就这样成功敲开了12所学校的大门!


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