（We provide an English version of this particular article for English speakers at the bottom）

性与爱的观念改变，很大程度上源于中国女性行为模式的变化

“她形象”(专为女性服务的社交媒体圈)的首席执行官苏娟针对一万名中国女性进行了一项关于爱情和性的在线调查，调查研究的结果挑战了中国是一个性保守国家的旧观念，苏介绍说。近65%的调查者表示愿意在网上结识陌生男子，其中超过23%的女性更表示她们会在社交媒体上主动提出一夜情要求。四分之一的女性表示会考虑与长期性伴侣发展为恋爱关系的可能性。

这大型在线调研，范围涵盖生活在10个中国城市的女性。她们大多出生于1985-1995年间，其中未婚女性约一半。

苏承认这些调查结果并不能代表中国农村妇女及较为年长女性的观点，但也为城市年轻女性的恋爱观念转变提供了一些有力的说明。

中国年轻一代的女性，尤其是90后，她们对于选择性伴侣以及恋爱对象的考虑远比前辈更开放诚实，苏解释说。网络社交程序很大程度上促成了这类改变，在过去两年间衍生出一种普遍化的名词“约炮”和“炮友”——分别为“性约会”与“性伴侣”的通俗表达方式。

从某种意义上来说，西方人在中国社会、尤其中国女性看来都是“罪人”。那些对于亚洲人有偏爱的西方男性，或者所谓“黄热病”，他们总习惯于把中国女性看成一种“异国风情”的象征——可以满足一种男权主义的主导欲望——有些人甚至会因为这种偏见而专门只挑选亚洲女性作为约会对象。

中国男人通过与西方男性对比来评估自己的“竞争力”

这些在本土社会被认为只是中产阶级甚至更低级别的男性，来到亚洲大陆则立即在5亿女性中可以找到机会，很多西方男士就是因为受到这种“幻想”的诱惑而来到东方。当然他们中有很多人确实认为自己成功达到了“再次男性化”，他们通过与亚洲女性约会来重申自己的经济能力与权力。同时，许多亚洲女性也会为了个人利益（如提高自己的英语口语水平）而刻意迎合西方男人的这种“幻想”，她们把和西方男士恋爱看做一种更高社会地位的象征。

然而，随着中国的迅速崛起、以及全球化的渗透作用，有许多中国女性已经开始认清这些西方男人的真面目——古怪的失败者——并且拒绝与他们发展关系。同时，中国女性也开始重新评估自己在全球社会中所充当的角色与其地位。

所以，这份调查究竟向我们展示了什么？它反映了现代被长期培养出来的态度。当我在中国生活的时候，我观察到有一些中国女孩很明确地只寻找西方男性作为恋爱对象。不过，我的大多数中国女性朋友选择避开那些游手好闲的落魄“英语老师”，她们没有表现出任何与他们交谈的憧憬。

移民欧洲或“和一个面孔立体、英俊的外国人约会”已经不再被看成是社会地位的象征,现在的中国女孩们懂得为了自己而活——她们拥有属于自己的工作、房子、车子、具备双语能力，以及更倾向于在确立一段认真的恋爱关系之前先和不止一名男性进行轻松的社交（就我本人看到的现象而言）。

大城市中的女孩子们变得越来越以事业为核心。如果她们真的决定选择一名男性安定下来，那么对象就必须在学历和收入方面与她们持平或更优越。这与许多英国女性正面临的困境截然不同（英国女性主张为了“真爱”而结婚，反而并不太在意对象的收入是否超过自己。所以对英国人来说，真爱难觅才是他们的问题）。

诚然，与英国不同的是，中国女性面临更大的社会压力，迫使她们早早安定下来、生儿育女。这项责任是在于所谓的“孝道”（中国俗语：不孝有三，无后为大），儿女们必须照顾自己的父母安度晚年，且通过为他们诞下孙辈从而建立更强大的家庭纽带。那些将行使这种“责任义务”置于个人生活之后，并且年龄超过27岁的女性马上就会被定义为“剩女”。中国女性以往一直都以特定的方式(男人所偏好的风格)打扮自己，并且努力让男性“维持”一种更高的价值地位，可能就是因为害怕被社会冠以“剩女”这个头衔。

“剩女”被中国官方看作一种“流行病”

然而这种既定俗成的看法终将被时代的浪潮所吞没，尽管，这需要时间。如今中国女性越来越叛逆封建社会的老套看法——为什么她们要屈服下嫁给一个“神马都很一般”先生？为什么女人非要早早结婚？甚至于为什么一定要结婚。持有这种观点的女性一般都很优质，她们受过高等教育，并且更愿意花时间去等待一个值得她们安定下来的对象。

同时，她们也敢于“玩很大”，如同她们的西方姐妹们那样。

英文原文

Contrary to popular belief, Chinese women are not just timid, subservient creatures when it comes to sex. Su Juan, the 34-year-old CEO Her Style, a social media community for women, conducted an online poll of almost 10,000 Chinese women, asking about their attitudes toward love and sex.

The poll, which was co-hosted by well-known media platforms including sina.com.cn and ifeng.com, surveyed women from 10 cities in China, most of whom were born between 1985 and 1995. Around half of the respondents were unmarried.

The results challenged common perceptions of China as a sexually conservative society, said Su. Nearly 65 percent of respondents expressed a willingness to meet a stranger online, and more than 23 percent said they would take the initiative to propose casual sex with a man through social media platforms. Around one in four women said that they were open to the idea of developing long-term romantic relationships with casual sex partners.

Su acknowledged that the results of the survey did not necessarily reflect the attitudes of rural and older Chinese women, but said that it shed a light on the shifting attitudes of young, urban women toward love and relationships.

Younger generations of Chinese women, especially those born after 1990, are far more open and honest about their considerations in choosing sexual and romantic partners than previous generations, said Su. Social networking apps have been a big factor in this change, and in the last two years, there has been a popularization of terms like yuepao - a vulgar expression for "sex date" - and paoyou, which can be more politely translated as "sex buddy."

The ‘traditional’ view

Seen as average (or worse) in their own society, these men are lured into the fantasy of becoming immediately irresistible to half a billion women who don’t know any better upon arriving on the continent. Certainly there are those who have achieved “remasculation” – they feel that dating Asian women reaffirms their power and (relative) wealth, and many women cater to these fantasies for personal gain, or associate with Western men as a status symbol.

However, as China is dragged up to speed with the rest of the world and globalisation sinks its claws in, many Chinese women have begun to dismiss many of these men for what they are – “creepy losers” – and begun revaluating their own position and status within global society.

Someone like you

So what does this study show? It reflects an attitude that has been growing for quite a long time now. When I lived in China, there were Chinese girls who looked specifically to date Western guys, but many of my Chinese girlfriends shied away from the deadbeat ‘English teachers’, many of whom seemed to have no prospects to speak of.

An opportunity to move to the West or “date a handsome foreigner” are no longer status symbols or capable of earning respect by default. Chinese girls are doing it for themselves now – they have their own jobs, houses, cars, speak two languages and, as we’ve seen, date casually before making a serious commitment.

Especially girls in big cities – they’re becoming more career focused and, if they do settle down, it has to be with someone at their own level, or even better off or better educated than themselves! Not so dissimilar to the predicament many women in the UK face.

In the meantime, they’re also happy to play around, just like their western sisters.