优秀案例丨如何写出彩的申请文书

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收藏文章 赞一个 已赞 2016-09-26 美国留学教育专家-学美留学




留学申请中标化成绩可以通过刻苦努力提高,课外活动也可以积极参加锻炼,唯有文书的写作最让人难以捉摸,无从下手,不知道怎样写才能符合招生官的胃口,况且每年的申请题目还不一。小编秉着急人所急,想人所想的宗旨,专门给大家整理了14条优秀文书必备的写作技巧,解你燃眉之急,大家一定要收好哦!



1

做足Brain Storming(头脑风暴)的工作,把你天马行空能想到的idea都汇总到一起,以做素材之用。

2

多拜读优秀出国留学文书申请文章范文,以扩宽自己的思路。

3

切题,这是最基本的要求,如果没有按问题来写,写的再漂亮也是白搭。

4

独创,新颖。如果写得比较有创意,再枯燥的主题也能写出彩。比如,写自己参加体操比赛的经历,有人开头平铺直叙:我为了参加某次体操比赛,努力训练了许多周。很boring。但若写成:我在清晨五点钟醒来,投入到汗水,眼泪,鲜血混成的高低杠中去,因为我梦想着要把省体操比赛的战利品捧回到我的家乡来,一下子就夺人眼球了。

5

做自己,写自己。在出国留学文书中除了描述出对你而言有意义的经历事件之外,也要写出你的感悟和思想。

6

不要太刻意弄许多大词,新词,怪词。有些同学的文章老师需要边翻着词典才能读得懂。实在没有太多必要。其实你的语言功底TOEFL/SAT分数证实地更有效。

7

使用些形象化的描述,创造比较生动的意象。因为整篇文章需要你鲜活的经历作为evidence,如果你写经历都写得干巴巴,还能指望能文章打动谁?

8

出国留学文书一定要花大力气开好头。因为招生官看一篇文章通常就2-3分钟,我们必须利用好开头去吸引他们的注意力。两个要点:1、不要在开头就为全文做好了总结,有些同学一开头就写,去年暑假我参加了残奥会志愿者活动,从这次活动中我学会了如何与他人沟通协调。问问自己为什么别人在看了你的开头后还愿意继续读完全文,如果开头就做好总结,那也没有必要读完全文了。2、开头可以留下点悬念,阴谋。

9

出国留学文书每篇文章必须有而且只能有一个focus。

10

要有过渡和承接,使得文章进展地流畅,这些过渡不一定要是in addition, therefore,so之类的写雅思作文用的词。过渡一定要自然。

11

结尾也很重要。结尾是给招生官留下最后印象的一部分。不要使用"in, in conclusion, in summary, to conclude"之类的总结词。建议大家写得稍微幽默一点,招生官每天读文章读的很累,好不容易把你文章看完了,如果能在最后让他幽默一笑,嘴角犯上一丝笑容的话,说不定就让他记忆深刻了。可以巧妙的和开头相呼应一下。

12

写好了,把出国留学文书文章晾一段时间,过后再捡起来看这是不是你想要写的主题。

13

写好了一定要给专业的文书老师看,让他们评价这文章写得是不是最真实最独特的你。

14

和文书专业老师讨论修改——讨论再修改。





文书案例




Memorials and museums never meant much to me. To be frank I found them boring. But that all changed when I visited the States. 


开门见山引入主题:自己对纪念馆看法的转变


When I received the schedule for my trip, the number of museums on it disappointed me. Like my friends, I wanted to go to department stores or parks. Reluctant and uninterested, I followed my group to the Holocaust Memorial Museum. Yet walking into the hall, I was immediately impressed by the solemn atmosphere and quietness. As I walked around, I found that every visitor was looking carefully through the pictures and reading every information panel intently and seriously. This scene surprised me a lot. 


国外纪念馆的参观经历给我留下了深刻的印象


I recalled my experiences of visiting museums in China. Mostly there’d be just a few visitors walking around the museum’s hall and a tour guide would be offering a boring commentary from prepared notes. 

I wondered why it was so different here to what I knew in China.


同时,让我开始反思中国纪念馆的现状


YAs I started to look around the museum, I thought I could see the reason. The methods to introduce the history were versatile and distinctive, including movies, speeches and reproduced reality by using 3-D technology. There was so much information there that I’d never heard before. The tour guides – German students studying in the States – answered all my questions. 


在参观过程中思考并比较

But back in China, as I thought more about it, I began to see a more important difference between our museums and theirs.

回国后,开始进行深度的反思

I began to realize the key issue is a huge cultural difference between Chinese and Western politics. Westerners are open to their past, accepting both bad and good things. They’re free to discuss it in class or in public. China’s government, on the other hand, hides parts of history that might bring ‘shame’ on China or are too bloody to be known. Thus there is a lot that Chinese history teachers don’t talk about in class. And so a decreasing number of Chinese people - especially students - are aware of the importance of that history. 

两国在对待历史的方式上存在很大的差异


That’s when the seed of changing the situation in China was planted in my heart. 


了解根源后,我想改变这个状况

When I heard a museum near where I live was looking for volunteer guides, I registered without hesitation. This was a museum on the life of a revolutionary martyr. Located in a park, most visitors were the elderly and some young children. After an interview, I became leader of my volunteer group. One of my jobs was to write commentaries for the picture exhibition. I studied the relevant details in many books, researched online, and used my own words to connect the story of the pictures. I used the pictures as the main line to connect all the other facts. And of course I added details that would not usually be mentioned. 

作为纪念馆的讲解员,讲解每个图片后面的历史

As I guided visitors through the museum, instead of looking around causally they started to listen to me more intently and ask questions. I really felt they ‘connected’ with the displays because I had brought that difficult time in China’s history to life.

我带来的改变


I want China’s younger generation to understand the nation’s history, good and bad. China’s recent past has many positive things in it, but we mustn’t hide away the negative things. I’m just a regular student, and I know I cannot do much to change China’s political environment. But what I can do is to inspire more of my fellow people to pursue what the government hides from us. The past may be shameful or painful, but we need to be informed. 


我对中国历史以及政治环境的反思

That’s why I want to be a sociologist, exploring not only history but also social problems and revealing them to the public. That’s how I can contribute to society. From my volunteer experience, I know that though it may take a long time, making China’s museums as appealing as American ones and making China’s people more open to the past is not merely a daydream.

社会学不仅可以帮助我解决这个难题同时可以让我了解更多的社会问题


主文书思路:


Step 1:国外纪念馆的参观经历 、国内纪念馆的现状、改变现状的努力 

Step 2:发现深层次的社会问题 、对自我以及社会的反思


Step 3:社会学的思路



申请文书常见误区

非理性思想指导文章写作方向

用他人经历经验填充文章内容

不科学标准体系评价文章好坏


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