俗话说,【写作开头】写的好,你离高分也不远了!爆笑范例+经典高分Introduction一览~

2016年09月23日 无忧小雅哥


雅思写作Introduction攻略
这不是一篇普通的Introduction攻略,而是通过对比,通过评星,给大家一个更加直观的感受——那些开头段的高频错误 + 一个写的好的开头段长什么样!
Example 1
牛逼指数:★☆☆☆☆
「Topic」It is said that nowadays one cannot acquire the qualifications and quality essential to success through university education. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?
「Answer」I think to success, we must have a lot of important qualities. To have these important qualities, we must learn a lot of things, for example, English,music instruments, and etc. We can learn these qualities from our teachers, our friends and from books. All in all, we can learn from many places.
「Comments」偏离主题,不知所云。这个开头段的分数,可想而知……
Example 2
牛逼指数:★★☆☆☆
「Topic」Modern medicine helps to live a longer life. Do you agree?
「Answer」The modern medicine is very important for living a long life. It is depend on new technology. People take very easy and quickly. Also modern medicine is very quick absorbing to human body. It is helps to back to normal for people health condition. Therefore I agree that the modern medicine is helps to live longer.
「Comments」开头段内容啰嗦,并没有直接回答到点上。并且,整段语法错误较多,句子结构较差。
Example 3
牛逼指数 ★★☆☆☆
「Topic」考题关于positive negative aspects of modern technologies.
「Answer」Modern technology has been playing an increasingly important role in our day-to-day life. It has brought us a lot of benefits but created some serious problems as well.
「Comments」典型的模板式开头。考官看的都要吐了,又怎么会给高分呢?不要每次一看到Modern technology的题目,都写一句modern technology has been playing an increasingly important role in our daily life这种典型的模板句哦!
Example 4
牛逼指数:★★★☆☆
「Topic」考题关于private and public schools
「Answer」When it comes to schools, some people think that private school is better than public ones. Others argue that the opposite is true. There is probably some truth to both arguments, but I believe…
「Comments」又一个典型的模版型开头,虽然没有用“with the development of…” 这种看吐了的句型,但是someone think…Others argue…也是一个用的太多太多的模板句型。虽然整段字数不多,但还是有表达的问题存在哦!
Example 5
牛逼指数:★★★★☆
「Topic」Nowadays the age at which children start to attend school is becoming younger and younger. Some children go to school at the age of four. Some people think it is good for children to attend school earlier, while others disagree.
「Answer」Nowadays, there is a growing tendency for children to attend school earlier. Some even go to school at the age of four. Yet, in my opinion, it's not a matter of the-earlier-the-better when we discuss the age when children should go to school. On the contrary, I think it is unhealthy for children to start school too soon.
「Comments」一句话解释题目背景 + 两句话表达了自己观点, 并且引出下文。一共三大部分,简洁明了,没有用什么高深的词汇,但依然是一篇高分introduction!
Example 6
牛逼指数:★★★★★
「Topic」A burglar was shot dead by the owner of the house being broken into. Do you think the owner's action was justified? You should write at least 250 words. You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.
「Answer」Ever since this incident was reported in the newspapers there has been much controversy about it. After weighing all the pros and cons, I find that I agree that the owner's action was justified. I support my point of view with three arguments: Self-defense, the sanctity of property and the need to deter criminals.
「Comments」介绍题目,表达观点,这篇introduction的亮点在于最后一句对于整篇文章观点的总结。这需要同学们有较高的文字水平和总结能力,不能偏离body paragraph的内容,对于key words要抓得准。这是非常考验大家的英语能力的。如果对于用几个字词总结全文观点这个部分没有十足的信心的话,建议还是不要尝试这类高分introduction。因为就算不加,只要含有paraphrase the topic + state your own opinion这两个要素,想要得到6分7分还是OK的!
看完了这六个example,有正面例子,也有反面例子,大家是不是都对introduction的好与坏都有了更深的了解呢?是否也有更加清晰的理解自己应该怎么写雅思作文的开头段呢?如果大家有任何对于雅思或者英语学习相关的问题,都可以直接与我们联系哦!
*无忧雅思9.10光荣榜*
恭喜写作口语7分班Yujie童鞋,在9月10日考试中取得听力8.5,阅读9,写作7,口语7,总分8分的好成绩!用高分与雅思君Say Goodbye!



恭喜无忧学员Wang同学,在9月10日的考试中成功取得听力8.5,阅读8,写作7,口语7.5,总分8分的好成绩!之前写作万年6.5,两周的写作课程,一战成名,写作一举上7!

不仅仅是7分的同学要恭喜,六分班的一样很棒!恭喜六分班的学员Ma,通过听说读写四项六分班的强化训练,成绩直接从4.5分提升到6!真的很棒!只要功夫深,只要肯努力,一切没有不可能!


#墨尔本无忧雅思课程信息#
7分写作口语白班
下周一(9月26日)开课啦!
周一至周五,10:3016:30,共两周
7分写作口语晚班
10月10日开课
周一至周五,6pm-9pm
课程共三周。
雅思6分晚班
周一~ 周五6pm-9pm
每周一项内容,共四周结课。
每周一循环入学ing!~
墨尔本的烤鸭们请直接与无忧小雅哥(mr_51ielts)联系哦!
 
#悉尼无忧雅思课程信息#
7分写作口语白班
10月17日开课
共两周结课。
7分写作口语晚班
10月3日开课
课程共三周~
雅思6-6分白班/晚班
每周循环入学中哦!
悉尼的烤鸭们请直接与悉尼雅思姐(mrs_51ielts)联系哦!

无忧小雅哥 mr_51ielts


悉尼无忧雅思姐 mrs_51ielts

收藏 已赞