申请美国大学，高分成绩是敲门砖，至于能否被美国大学录取，关键要看申请文书，能否在文书中突出学生的潜质，直接决定着学生是否被录取，以下是两个关于美国大学申请文书写作的建议和点评，仅供参考。
本科申请文书点评：不要急于打动读者
很多时候，同学们为了增加自己经历的独特性，在写申请文书的时候会愿意写一些对自己意义重大的事情。这个想法，是一个比较大的误区。很多时候，一个事情不能打动自己，也很难感染别人，可是反过来，很多能够感动你自己的事情，未必可以打动别人。不少同学其实申请文书在第一步就没有做好，太过想要打动读者了。
美国大学申请文书
曾经有一个学生，坚持要在文书中写小时候自己脊柱不正，然后加以纠正的故事，这个过程中，她要带上支架一两年，然后才可以恢复正常。对一个小孩子来说，这是一个很大的事情，可能她内心也曾经产生过自卑的感觉，而最后战胜这种情绪对这个学生来说，是一个很大的成就。
这个就是典型地属于打动了自己但是别人却很难感同身受的事例。因为这个身体上的问题，其实并没有学生自己所想像的那么严重，有不少小孩子在小的时候，会有同样的问题，经过纠正是可以治好的。本质上，这个问题和戴牙套纠正牙齿区别不大，归根到底是一个个人层面的事情。而且，这样的事情写下来，很有点博取同情的感觉。另外，这个学生在写作的过程中，为了突出这个问题从而来表现自己，学生把这个事情写得太过悲情压抑，反而会给人负面的印象。最后这个学生申请的结果也不是很好。
同样是写一些逆境对自己的影响，我们可以来看一下下面这篇被约翰·霍普金斯大学录取的学生的申请文书。大家可以体会到在字里行间学生的精神状态，这个学生不是在倾诉自己的境遇是如何艰苦，而自己又是如何奋斗成功之类的。但是通过看似波澜不惊的叙述，这个学生表现出了自己正面、积极、乐观的形象。
有时候，越是急切地想要感动别人，越是难以达到这个效果。反而越是真实而平淡，却越能让读者进入到你的故事中去，和你悲喜与共。
Don’t Be Sorry
It was a raw, blustery March day and I was leading four classmates to my house to hash out the remaining details of our current English presentation. When I opened the door, however, I received a surprise. I had not anticipated my mother still being home and neither had my group members. Their faces turned slightly blank, as if they were trying to hide their confusion and surprise. The previously relaxed atmosphere had become very formal and quiet. I had seen this before.
My group members had only observed my mom for a few seconds, but it was long enough to ignite their curiosity. I casually explained that the woman in the wheelchair they had just seen was my mother and that she has M.S.—multiple sclerosis. This is a fact I have relayed dozens of times throughout my life, and I thought nothing of it as I took my group member’s heavy winter jackets and hung them up.
But one of the girls immediately said, “Oh, I’m sorry.”
I was actually speechless. Sorry? Sorry for what? No one has ever said those words to me before regarding my mother, and I did not know how to respond. You say “I’m sorry” when someone’s uncle passes away or when their pet dies; only “bad” situations are deserving of the “I’m sorry” response and I have never viewed my mother’s disease as needing to receive it.
I shrugged off the reply in a polite way, and we got working. But the moment my group members left I was alone with my thoughts, alone with the “I’m sorry” clause.
Our family’s life is completely different than others due to my mom’s disease, but I have known no other way of living. My mother has had M.S. since she was in college, so I was born into a world with motorized scooters and walkers and extra precautions. This is my norm. And while other people may pity my mother and our family, I see no reason to be down. I could spend all my time harping on the drawbacks and my ”missed opportunities,“ but what fun would that be? I will always find the silver lining.
This seemingly insignificant March day actually made quite a difference for me. I finally realized that you need to appreciate not just what you have had, but what you have not. Because of my mother I had learned independence and responsibility while most kids were still watching Saturday morning cartoons. I could balance a checkbook by fifth grade, thought more consciously about keeping our house clean than most kids ever will, and was always willing to lend a hand. These lessons have stuck with me. I understand that you have to make the best out of what you are given; take what life gives you and run with it.
So why be sorry for me? I know I would not trade my life for the world.
---------------------------------------
如果大家觉得内容有价值，请点击微信右上角选择“发给朋友”或者“分享到朋友圈”。
本微信公众号以分享美国留学动态，申请技巧为主，欢迎大家搜索公众帐号“liuxue_meiguo”关注并提问。
【点击账号头像，查看历史信息】
猛戳【阅读原文】查看更多内容
↓↓↓↓↓
