【申请名校就靠它】论一份感动学校的Personal Statement 是如何炼成的，内附范文，建议收藏,信为plus微信公众号文章

临近毕业季，同学们又要开始忙活了起来。一波确定了未来的择业方向，要为了身份和就业问题开始了考雅思，职业年和翻译的三重考验。而另外一波则为了学术和文凭上的追求要继续深造研究生了。对于要继续深造的同学们来说，除了准备好本科阶段的成绩单和完成信，另外一个最重要，也是最难把握的关键材料，就是为了申请需要准备的个人陈述了。

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个人陈述，英文称为Personal Statement (PS) 或者是Statement of Purpose (SOP),主要用于描述申请人的个人背景，申请目的以及未来学习方向等信息。基本上对于美国学校的申请者，个人陈述是一份必不可少的材料。而现阶段针对澳洲各大高校来说，因校而异，个人陈述不是一份申请必备材料。部分排名比较靠前的大学要求申请时必须提供个人陈述，比如墨尔本大学。而一般的学校则是在申请者条件出现问题时才会要求提供个人陈述。一份好的个人陈述可以在你不满足大学或专业录取分数线时力挽狂澜，让大学破格录取，帮助你进入梦想大学的梦想专业。信为处理过的一个案子中，一位墨尔本大学的本科毕业生申请RMIT皇家理工大学，因为平均分不达RMIT录取要求，第一次申请被拒。而后笔者亲自为该客户打造了一份情感真切的个人陈述，仔细分析了导致过往成绩不足的原因，申请RMIT该课程的背后动力，以及如何顺利完成课程的计划，再次递交了研究生申请。一周之后就收到喜报，RMIT决定破格录取该学生，这位客户才得以进入理想学校的理想专业学习。

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如何打造一份适合你自己的个人陈述呢？其实个人陈述就是展现个人经历和个性，没有一个特定的写作格式。申请人需要注意的是，在用词方面，个人陈述属于正式书面文件，需使用正规书面英文，不应出现过于口语化的单词。写作中用词简洁明了，不用堆砌辞藻和刻意制造文法复杂句式。内容要联系个人实际，真实，诚恳，逻辑性分明，长短适中，富有感染力和说服力。最好结合申请学校的具体要求进行打造。比如说墨尔本大学，就明确要求个人陈述不超过500字。另外，墨尔本大学还要求申请者提供课外活动和过往工作经验的描述。

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一般来说，个人陈述总体可以分为三个部分。

1。为何要申请该专业和该学校。这部分要强调申请动机，规划未来的职业方向。比如说申请RMIT大学的金融研究生专业，我们就需要谈谈为什么会选择RMIT大学和该专业。可以从RMIT的地理位置，国际排名，国际影响力，专业课教授方式，实习工作安排等方向进行阐述。在这个部分没有必要一味的吹嘘学校，更多的是你对这个学校这个专业的了解。每一个学校每一个专业都有自己的特色，而学校更想看到的是你找到了适合自己的课程。

2。为什么你适合这个专业和这个学校。这个部分需要展现你的个人背景和个人优势。个人的学术经历，曾经的学术成就，竞赛获奖情况和相关工作经验这些都应该放在这个部分的内容里。有些同学会在这个部分过于浮夸，其实适当的包装就好，个人陈述还是要遵循诚实的原则，在事实的基础上去表现自己，让学校对你个人认识了解更多。

3。制定一个与学习目的相匹配的学习计划与目标。申请者需要在这部分展现自己的学习能力和规划能力。比如说对未来课业的安排，学习内容的期望以及学成之后的职业目标。这一部分里面较多申请者会一味的表决心。其实表决心点到为止即可，学校想看到的是你实际的计划。

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接下来献给广大毕业生们的福利，笔者送上两篇范文大家参考。第一篇是由信为客户亲自打造的成功申请到墨尔本大学MBA奖学金的个人陈述。第二篇是申请商科管理类的范文。不过说到底，不管范文有多好，最终个人陈述还是要引人而异。因为不同目的而打造的个人陈述侧重点也会不尽相同。信为愿意在你申请的道路上和你一起为你订制属于你自己的个人陈述，让你的升学梦想变为现实。

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范文

What are your long term career goals?

Back when I was 17 years old, I had my first oversea travel to Denmark and stayed with a Danish family. It turned out to be a life-long experience: I improved my language skills, attended Danish high school classes and the most important -witnessed another culture and way of living. For the first time of my life, I realized that the world is big, there are many different ways of living and thinking, and the fact of understanding other cultures and communicating with different ethical groups brought me a huge pleasure and also helped me in my career later when I enter the work place.

Today, I see my country China has a stronger global impact, and has more cultural / economic exchanges with the rest of the world. To react to this phenomenon, schools emphasize on the English education and ‘international mind-set’ development on young people. However, for those who speak fluent English but have never been abroad, when they first come into the workplace and work with foreigners, they still have difficulties in understanding and cooperating with people from another culture. This indicates that apart from the language barrier, the cultural barrier is more difficult to confront.

Therefore, I wish to share my experience with more young people. My long term career goal is to promote educational tours, so that teenagers and young people have chance to go to another country at least once during their high school or university. The trip will help them to immerge in another culture and trig their interest in exploring the world. My expertise in Marketing and Public Relations will be a strong asset for me to carry out such a project. With the help of an MBA, I have confidence that I could bring the project to a larger scale, and to the international level.

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范文

What is unique about your background and experience that you would bring to your classmates at MBS?

I have 6 years of working experience in Europe and in Asia in various fields - healthcare, travel and luxury. These fields seem different one from another, however all closely related to consumer’s wellbeing and happiness. By taking critical positions in Public Relations and Marketing, I developed strong knowledge for consumer insights and consumer behavior. I also have solid knowledge and hands-on skills for project management and event management. I have led projects including Shanghai 2010 World Expo, Top 500 company CEO visit to China, press conference in joint effort with Ministry of Health of China, etc. I am comfortable to contribute in a team of multi-language and multi-culture. I also have experience in working with government and authorities. I am open minded, efficient, a team player, and I believe that my background will contribute to the class discussion and project implementation with the classmates at MBS.

My culture background is another asset for me to contribute to MBS community. Born and raised in the ancient capital of China Beijing, I studied and worked in Paris for 3 years. I am curious for different cultures. By learning English, French, Spanish, and Japanese, I succeed in bridging myself with other communities and can understand other foreign culture and mind-sets with no difficulties in a fast developing business environment.

In additional, I am very active in different communities and willing to share my resource. Since 2009, I am the coordinator of the Shanghai alumni network for my previous school Paris Institute of Political Studies. I constantly organize network events / seminars / conferences involving alumni in Shanghai to facilitate information sharing and people connection.

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范文

What gaps in your knowledge or skills do you hope that this program will help you to work on?

In the past, my career was mainly focused on Marketing and Public Relations, which I have passion for. I aspire to master more knowledge on the fundamentals of business, such as Economics, Finance and accounting, so that I have a thorough and broad understanding of modern business functions. In the future it will help me contribute to larger scale projects for companies and organizations.

The other gap in my skills is related to the human resource managerial experience. In the previous projects that I led, I had experience to lead a team as much as 4. I believe myself have the potential to lead a larger-size, multi-cultural team. Thus I desire to acquire more people management knowledge and skills through the MBA course.

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范文

Describe a workplace situation where you had a responsibility for managing people. Reflect on what you learned.

In January 2014, as Trade & Media Manager of the Arizona Office of Tourism (AOT) in China, I led my team to organize a roadshow in three major cities in China - Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou. The aim is to promote Arizona tourism resources with Chinese group and individual travelers. In total, we invited 200 travel agencies and 50 national media, and carried out 12 presentation meetings. The events obtained positive feedback from attendees and a large coverage from media. Through the events we also succeeded in closing 34 cooperation deals between AOT and Chinese travel agencies.

I have two persons on my team. I analyzed the strengths and weaknesses of each one, and then assigned the tasks according to the analysis in order to complete the project quickly and efficiently. The person who is more organized and detailed driven was in charge of all data-related tasks, such as invitation sending, information registration, information collection of the attendees, on-site registration, etc; the other team member who is more out-going and has more interpersonal skills was in charge of engaging new attendees, oral presentations, on-site greeting, and post-meeting follow up.

After the roadshows when there was less pressure, I created a training program for my two team members. They work together and learn from each other’s strengths so as to make up their own weaknesses. Overall, the team grew in strength and cohesion and efficiency shot up.

My learning is that in people management we need put the right person on the right place to have the best outcome for the tasks. A manager should also help the team members to grow and develop in the organization. It is important for engaging and retaining talents and also beneficial for the overall performance of the team.

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完整版范文

From a very young age, I have been interested in the way businesses are run: how shops are laid out, how they sell themselves to the customer, asking myself why are video games so differently priced? My enthusiasm for Business Studies and Management grew from a visit in my youth to my father's newspaper office at Canary Wharf. I was intrigued by the amount of work and effort that was put into running a daily newspaper, wondering how it was possible to manage so many people and run a business that involved such careful delegation and use of time.

Studying Business Studies at A level strengthened these early interests. I am
particularly interested in the human behaviour side of business, and have been keen to explore motivation What makes people tick? What drives them forward? The world in which we live is increasingly dominated by businesses, so what could be more captivating than studying the most powerful collections of people on the planet? These dynamic organisations not only reflect but create the values of contemporary societies, shaping our beliefs and lifestyle choices. Psychology at A level has taught me all about human interaction and how our minds work. On a larger scale, Economics A level has shown me the structural role Economics plays in our lives. It explains how goods are priced, how markets ebb and flow, how the laws of demand and supply determine so much of what we do, and condition the environment around us. Economics also supplies knowledge of how business developments work and their impacts which are likely to succeed and those that will almost certainly fail. All three of these A levels have also made practical use of my mathematical skills gained at AS level and IGCSE, in which I achieved an A*.

My voluntary work experience at Google headquarters in London really reinforced my desire to study Business. It gave me a fascinating insight into how one of the most rapidly growing, successful global businesses operates. The highlight was organising a YouTube press meeting, and I gained valuable skills in communication and interaction with others in a working environment. I was particularly intrigued to know more about the connections between different teams. I am currently working at XXX department store in XXX, as a "mobile" sales assistant, moving around the departments and getting a wide range of views on how the company gels together. Again, it is interesting being on the inside, seeing and hearing how the company behaves and thinks.

I am a competitive chess player. I see chess as an exercise of infinite possibilities for the mind; one which develops mental abilities used throughout life: concentration, thinking ahead, problem solving, strategic planning and creativity. I was primary school chess champion, going the whole season undefeated when I was 10 years old. More recently, I was competent enough to receive a school service tie for my skills and I regularly play in the 1st team.

Tennis is another major passion. I have played since I was six and play for my school and for my club. In tennis, mastery of the mind is the crucial factor to win; every time I play I encounter a wide range of psychological problems. I was the School Captain when I was 15 years old, reached the final of the XXX open tournament and also play for XXX Club's tennis academy. This improved my leadership abilities as I learnt how to organise the team, motivate players and improve spirit and team morale. These skills would be highly transferable to a business environment.

I am also a keen footballer, having played for various school teams at all ages, and was my school's social league top scorer last season with 21 goals in 12 games.

I am looking forward to continuing these past times alongside my degree, and think my natural business inquisition and drive for success, in any task I set myself, would make me ideally suited to studying Business or Management at university.

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信为留学移民的合作院校不仅有Group Of Eight 八大名校，更与澳大利亚近四十所公立大学，数十所TAFE，以及著名教育集团Tavitas，Study Group等有着紧密的合作。信为留学与顾问团队全部拥有超过五年案件经验和扎实的专业背景。名校申请成功率和签证率达到99%以上。来信为办理升学业务，免费还送学生签！

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